Some astonishing names have graced rugby fields in years gone by – funny, manly, just plain weird. So TTT has attempted to collate a few of the best in the latest of our Fifteens features. Have a butcher’s at the below and let us know if you think we’ve made any glaring omissions:
1. Rodney Ah You (Connacht) – I don’t know Rodney, are you?
2. Bismarck du Plessis (Sharks and South Africa) – would you mess with someone named after a battleship? Didn’t think so.
3. Chiliboy Ralapelle (Bulls/Toulouse and South Africa) – seriously, who wouldn’t want to be called Chiliboy?
4. Danny Grewcock (ex-Bath and England) – childish, but funny! Though we’d never tell him to his face.
5. Jean Condom (ex-Biarritz and France) – again, puerile, but makes us chuckle everytime.
6. Rocky Elsom (ex-Waratahs and Australia) – the gamble by his parents paid off … had he been a scrawny runt he’d have spent most of his schooldays with his head being shoved down a toilet but it turned out to be an inspired choice of name for an abrasive, hard-as-nails Aussie flanker.
7. Mamuka Gorgodze (Montpellier and Georgia) – sounds (and looks to be fair) like a not-so-distant cousin of a certain terrifying reptilian monster.
8. Lawrence Bruno Nero Dallaglio (ex-Wasps and England) – not many people can pull off being named after a Roman Emperor.
9. Piri Weepu (Hurricanes/Blues and All Blacks) – ok, ok, enough with the asinine toilet humour…
10. Jonny Wilkinson (Toulon and ex-England) – named after a condom and a razor – the only way his name could be more manly is if his middle name were actually ‘Fucking’.
11. Sinoti Sinoti (Falcons and ex-Samoa) – like Reggae Reggae sauce he had to be named twice.
12. Stirling Mortlock (ex-Brumbies and Australia) – descended from an ancient race of vikings who emigrated to Australia in the 10th century. The manliest name on the planet?
13. Paddy Power (ex-Falcons and Tonga) – OK, so not his real name but it was a nice stunt by the Irish bookmaker to get Epi Taione to change his name for the 2007 Rugby World Cup. The sponsorship funded Tonga’s preparations and they did pretty well as a result, pushing eventual winners South Africa to a near slip-up.
14. Karmichael Hunt (ex-Biarritz, converted from League) – Mike for short? Mike Hunt? Parents didn’t think that through did they?
15. James Hook (Perpignan and Wales) – your parents fans of J. M. Barrie then, Captain?
Over to you to suggest some players for the bench! Comment below…